He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
