I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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