and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize