Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
