You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
