Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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