eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
