everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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