Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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