I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
