Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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