yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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