ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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