So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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