Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
