I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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