Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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