Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
