so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
