That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
