two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
