he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
