i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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