are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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