3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
