I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
