But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
