If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
