JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
