after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize