Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wish there were birth control emojis
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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