everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
