we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
