i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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