you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
