then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
