Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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