Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
