It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
