dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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