so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
