All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize