We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
