We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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