I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
