how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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