So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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