Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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