I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
