Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
