i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
