Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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