At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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