Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
