Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
