Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
