On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
