He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
