Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
