I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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