Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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