exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
