scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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